Akatsuki Sugar Candi
by dinosaur in a can
Summary: This is what happens when Dinosaur and Twilit live in the Akatsuki base.
1. number one

This is a confidential story released by a hyper maniac. If you still wish to continue the story, please go ahead. But remember, you have been warned...

"ITACHI!" Tobi yelled, tackling him to the ground. Itachi stood up and dusted himself off. Tobi rolled around on the floor happily.

"Yes, Tobi?" Itachi muttered, hoping it wasn't some stupid think like he found a new pet bunny.

"Tobi recruited people!" Tobi yelled, getting up. Itachi was wide-eyed and impressed.

"You... did?" Itachi asked. "Are they bunnies?"

"One's a killer maniac psycho dinosaur." Tobi explained, waving his arms aroudn and making chainsaw noises. "And the other one eats buckets of sugar!"

Itachi back away slowly as the door to the enterance to the Akatsuki opened. Mist filled the place and two girl appeared. Me and Twilit.

I pranced into the room and patted Tobi on the head. "Hi Tobi." I looked up at Itachi. "Hi Weasel!" I waved cutely.

"Which one is this one, Tobi?" There was no explanation needed since Twilit was trying to climb onto Itachi's back.

"WEASEL BACK RIDE. NOW!" Twilit screamed in his ear. I laughed and took out my chainsaw and turned it on.

Itachi stared at me. "Give Twilit a ride and I won't kill you. And you have to make goat noises."

Itachi started skipping around making terrible goat noises while Twilit started braiding his hair.

I walked around the Akatsuki base and found a room full of clay sculptures. I walked in a chainsawed them all to bits.

"WHAT THE FUCK, UN?" a blonde yelled at me. I laughed meniacally and chainsawed those bits.

"Pwn'd!" I yelled in his face. I ran off, letting the blonde put the clay back together.

I saw a fish walk out the door, so I followed him.

"Let's go to McDonalds." I said.

No reply.

"I WANNA GO TO MCDONALDS!"

No reply.

I turned the chainsaw on and he turned around. I noticed it was Kisame.

"If I can't have my burgers, I'm gonna have to make sushi!"

Twilit came outside. "Sushi? Where?"

I pointed to Kisame, who was running for his life. Twilit chased after him, eyes sparkling for hunger.

And that's how my first day in the Akatuski was~


	2. number two

I woke up as the daylight shimmered into my room. "JASHIN DAMNIT, GO AWAY SUN!" I yelled.

Twilit was making up making breakfast. I could tell because Kisame kept yelling "Stop putting my hand in the blender!"

I put on my cloak and rubbed my eyes. Tobi came into my room and tackled me to the ground.

"Tobi, I wouldn't do that..." Itachi warned. Tobi stood up and I picked up my chainsaw and walked to the kitchen.

"Twilit, I don't feel like sushi today..." I said, leaning back in my chair. "I want muffins."

Twilit threw out the old batter and started making a new one. Tobi came by and started eating the old batter from the garbage.

"It tastes like shit!" Tobi exclaimed. I accidently leaned back in my chair too far and fell over.

Twilit glared at Tobi. "What... did... you... say?" she warned, twitching.

Tobi looked at her. "Twilit's cooking sucks!"

"Bad idea, Tobi, un." the blonde came in. He came up to me. "I'm Deidara, yeah."

I stared at him for a bit, standing up. "Are you a boy or a girl?" I asked him. He was fuming.

"NOT FUNNY! WHO TOLD YOU TO ASK THAT, UN! GRRR..." he/she stormed out of the room with Twilit stole my chainsaw and chased Tobi.

Hidan came into the room listening to music. "What CD is that?" I asked him.

"My Chemical Romance," he replied. "Why the fuck do you want to know?"

"Can I see?" He nodded so I took his CD player. When he wasn't looking, I switched it with Aqua and turned it onto full volume.

I gave the CD player back to him and he turned it on. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!? AHH! JASHIN DAMNIT! YOU POISONED ME! YOU POISONED ME!"

A puppet came in. "Look, it's the Sesame Street parade!" I said, pointing to Kakuzu with a smile on my face.

He glared at me. "Funny," he mumled angrily, getting a sandwhich out of the fridge while Hidan rolled on the floor.

Konan came in. "What did you do to Hidan?" she asked me. I grinned evilly.

"I poisoned him with music." I said, holding up his My Chemical Romance CD. She took the CD player and opened it.

"Good job," she said, and skipped off. Twilit came charging in with my chainsaw.

"What did you do, Twilit?" I asked her.

"I chased him up a tree. I really tall tree."

I looked outside and saw a really really really really tall tree, and I could make out a small figure on the top of it.

"TOBI'S A GOOD BOY! TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!" I heard Tobi screaming. I sighed.

"Well, we're going to have to get him out of the tree somehow. Let's do it with the power of..."

TO BE CONTINUED~


	3. number 3

"Well, we're going to have to get him out of the tree somehow. Let's do it with the power of... DANCE!" I yelled.

I put on the song Carameldansen on full balst and started to dance. Twilit joined in, singing along. No was Tobi could resist this.\

He started coming down the tree, but then Hidan started smashing it. The music sounded like this: "ASDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOPZXCVBNM"

"WHAT THE FUCK, HIDAN!? WHY'D YOU DO THAT!?"

"IT BURNS!"

"YOUR FACE FUCKING BURNS!"

"I HATE PREPPY MUSIC!"

"SO'S YOUR PANTS!"

There was an akward silence. A cricked chirped and Twilit squished it. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She yelled at it.

Tobi climbed back up the tree. An idea sprung into my head.

I took another CD player and put in a CD.

All of a sudden you heard:

_HOO HAH! HOO HAH! Na na na na na na na na na na na na na!_

_He's my best friend, best of all my best friends_

_Do you have a best friend too?_

_It tickles in my tummy, He's so yummy yummy!_

_Hey, you should get a best friend too!_

While Hidan, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Deidara rolled on the ground, ears bleeding, Tobi started coming down from the tree.

Me and Twilit sang (well, screamed) along.

_**HELLO BABY I CAN SEE A SMILE**_

_**I'M GOING TO A PARTY AND IT'S GONNA BE WILD**_

_**CAN I COME I'M SITTING ALONE**_

_**FRIENDS ARE NEVER ALONE**_

Tobi finally came down from the tree and started dancing and singing along with me and Twilit.

Pein came into the room and turned off the CD player. He left without a comment, but his face looked like 'WTF?'

"That was fun!" Tobi said. "Maybe Tobi should get stuck in a tree more!"

Itachi, Deidara, Hidan, and Kakuzu all yelled at the same time. "HELL NO!"


End file.
